Alarms rang at 4am in households all around Surrey as the much anticipated bi-annual Warlingham visit to Paris was at last upon us. Weary eyed players and parents rocked up at the rugby club as requested and so began a trip where surprises hid behind every line on the itinerary.
Two very attractive coaches rocked up (Owen Evans and Dave Stevens) and the trip was underway ................ albeit an hour late.
Preparations had not gone smoothly with the under 14's transport being moved away from the Eurotunnel and booked on a P&O ferry crossing and then P&O deciding to sack all of its staff and get a load of people from Colombia to sail their ships for £2 an hour. Fortunately DFDS came to our rescue and as the sun rose over a deserted M25 to reveal a glorious morning spirits were almost as high as the percentage stamped on Tony Flaherty's beer cans.
Arrival in Dover gave us the opportunity to witness first hand what a marvelous idea Brexit was as we queued not once but twice to show our passports to various people. Fortunately we were spared the body cavity search (much to the disappointment of some) and we boarded a vessel which, despite appearances, did actually float.
After a much needed (and free) breakfast we rolled off the ferry in Calais and started the steady trundle down to Paris, intent on arriving at the home of our first opponents at approximately 14:30. Along the route information came our way that the match had been delayed until 18:00 so despite being offered the option of walking around a lake for three and a half hours we decided to go and check in to our accommodation for the night.
Clearly a demand for detention centres was at an all time low and this had freed up a bit of space at an Ibis Budget hotel in one of Paris' seemingly numerous ghetto areas, although the word 'space' should not be taken too literally as the rooms were less than generous in proportion, something which didn't seem to bother the bed bugs as much as the humans.
After dropping our bags and having a bite to eat in the next door cafeteria it was all aboard the coach for an international showdown against a French team we had beaten two years ago with some exhibition-style rugby. Well, it was their turn to make us look stupid this year by not actually turning up to the fixture. That's right, we had travelled all the way to France, subjected ourselves to accommodation built for Warwick Davis, panicked over the sea crossing and here we were, at the locked gates of a French rugby club!
Fortunately the key holder was located pretty quickly and he let us into the grounds, the clubhouse was unlocked, the barbeque lit, the boys warmed up ready for action but alas no French boys to play. The quick thinking of head coach Pete Millington averted a riot as 'positivity' became the watchword and the boys were split into teams along with the under 13's as we embarked on a round robin touch tournament against ourselves................. in France! At some point in proceedings a motley collection of French lads did rock up although they weren't exactly champing at the bit to play as they had already had a match that day. Scores were not kept and although I would like to report rugby was the winner on the day I am afraid the real winner was the bloke running the bar, who was charging 3 Euros for an eggcup's worth of fizzy lager. We then had to sit through the ignominy of watching Les Blue dismantle England with a loud and probably mad Frenchman chanting all sorts of weird things behind us. In summary - an unexpected day.
After a solid night's sleep it was back on the bus and fingers crossed for a better day. On arrival at the sports ground we were delighted to see the gates were unlocked and members of the opposition were actually in attendance. Was a miracle unfolding before our very eyes?
We made our way to the all weather pitch and warmed up, split the team into two squads and got ready for a competitive game of rugby.
Every time the under 14 Warly boys set foot on a pitch the coaches and parents are blown away with their spirit, camaraderie and desire to win. This was no exception and despite PUC Paris fielding a strong and well organised bunch of lads Warlingham, as always, did us proud putting on a spirited performance culminating in a 21-21 draw. Absolutely the right result and a valiant effort in unusual surroundings on a surface the boys are unaccustomed to.
The hosts treated us to a delicious and very generous spread after the game and then it was back on the bus for a high spirited and hilarious trip back to blighty.
I’m not sure what the lasting memories of this little excursion will be but I am sure this trip will never be forgotten by anyone who went on it. Maybe it will serve as a great lesson in life that things don’t always have to go perfectly to go brilliantly.