18th April saw the Peacocks Walking Rugby side (a blended walking rugby team combining players from Old Whitgiftians, Croydon Wanderers and Warlingham) saunter down to Salisbury RFC for its second tour of (un)serious competition and reasonably-paced rugby, writes proud Peacocker Lewi Brooks.

It was an embarrassing start for the 'Warly-eyed Peacocks' as two players who shall remain anonymous overslept and appeared sometime during the second match. Substitutions were quickly arranged from the Old Whits' 'Gifted Peacocks' in the form of Duncan 'McMad' Macmillan and yours truly, and play got under way.

Our glorious hosts, Salisbury, were up first. Having played them before, Warlingham's defence was clear-eyed and did well to shut down a certain former Fijian international who could sprint, charge, leap walk rapidly to intercept.

In attack, the dream combination of Michele and Peter York delivered a masterclass in keeping possession and driving up the pitch. They have utterly failed to disperse the rumour that they practice at home. Unfortunately, Salisbury did eventually find their way through to score and with no tries on the Warlingham side it was an opening loss. Despite solid efforts by the Warly-eyed Peacocks, further games saw triumphs for Melksham and Guilfordians.

After lunch with sustenance inside them, late players warmed up and now used to the Wiltshire air, the Warly-eyed Peacocks did begin to strut their stuff. Peter York managed to stride through the defence of Kingswood RFC to get Warly’s scoring started. William patiently waited on the wing for his chance before flying (walking quickly) a perfect line to pop another over the try line - earning himself the Peacock's player of the match award in the process.

Personal bests were also achieved by Terry 'the juggernaut' Dursley who managed to refrain from full contact tackles and Nigel Trotter who was barely penalised for, well... trotting during a walking rugby match.

While it’s not clear whether either of the Peacocks sides actually won any of their matches they probably did have the most fun and are joyfully reminded that winning is for rugby union, touch rugby or indeed competitive tiddlywinks.

Rugby aside, this reporter unfortunately failed to balance the encouragement of Warlingham's Comms Supremo Ian to 'take lots of action shots and photos of smiling people' with the on-pitch realities. So focused was I on getting Peter York's 'good side' for you, the Warlingham Newsletter reader, I missed a full blown fight on the pitch behind me (true story). Why anyone would come to fisticuffs in a walking rugby match is beyond us.

What Peacocks lack on the pitch they more than make up for in ‘evening activities’. With a standing dress code of ‘ostentatious peacockery’ the Warlingham and Croydon visitors bowled over all opposition in the post-match muster. Doug Hutt with his celebrated peacock feather trousers and hat combo and newcomer Peter in a very fetching waistcoat were star players for Warly. We cannot reveal whether Salisbury’s finest ales, an inflatable feathered friend and a game of ‘unlucky dip’ aided what came next. Suffice to say, Wiltshire’s combined teams were no match for this dazzling display and the Peacocks were undoubtedly the winners of the weekend in their own unique way.

Catch more action from the weekend with our round-up post on Instagram here.

To join the madness and mild-speed rugby message us on Instagram or reach out to Peter York.